ToP Day 4 – The Yellow Jersey Doesn’t Pull!

Day Four of the ToP, and the miles were showing at the breakfast tables. Forcing down yet another rubbery pancake or lukewarm omelet became a bit more difficult, the OJ didn’t seem as fresh, and the coffee – just a tad more bitter. This is the cost of 3-hard days of punishment behind us with 103-miles in the heat and wind looming over the day’s horizon.


Today’s route would take us on a broad clockwise loop out of Paso Robles, up into the foothills crossing two lakes and eventually returning by way of the Pleasant Valley Wine Trail. It turned out to be one of the nicest, both roads and scenery – taking in some great aspects of the Paso region.

But enough of this, lets get into the important aspects of the day – it’s time for the dis.


As always, we began with the presenting of the Sparkle Skirt. Though only the first year for this auspicious award, it has now taken on a whole new status.


After tremendous discussion, it became apparent that we needed to recognize not one, but two riders. Both representing our military warriors, both highly decorated for their exploits in foreign lands, and both now sporting a sparkly red skirt that, I’m sure surpasses all that has come before.

Our dynamic twosome, no longer Army of Ones, distinguished themselves through their gallant attempt to change a split tire. The problem is that this complicated process began only moments before the day’s grand depart. It began with our White Jersey holder, Chris recognizing the damaged rubber as he was preparing to jump on his bike. He than began a confused, and often hysterical dance from van door to bike, to door and back – all in an attempt to try and find a replacement. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, a replacement was found and the difficult job of replacement began. 

After bruised fingers and ego, along with even more precious time had elapsed, the tire was in place, the wheel back on the fork. It was at this point that Chris broke a cardinal rule in his profession – NEVER LET THE SURGEON ASSIST THE PA. Really, NEVER DO THIS! Trust me, it will result in failure! And sure enough, allowing Curt to touch a bike tool, place it into action, and attempt a repair almost immediately caused a major blowout – sending all the military members of the ride ducking for cover – sure that it was incoming fire! At this point, the two Medical Officers, the pride of the Army, were told to stand-down and let a real professional take over. To this end, El Jefe shouldered them aside, grabbed the wheel, a tube and new tire and had the bike ready to roll in about 2 mins (all while instructing on the proper ways of bike maintenance).

It deserves special note that Chris, still smarting from the controversy of the previous day, elected to not take the easy buy-out and wear his award with true Army Pride! Curt, on the other hand, couldn’t pull out his “Jackson” fast enough!



Throughout the day, that Sparkly shimmer of Chris’ skirt winking in the sunlight as he lifted the pace and dropped the lesser soles stood as a tenfold beacon in the night, the true reminder of Duty, Honor, Country.

Maybe it was the Sparkle Skirt, maybe the appearance of fresh legs in the peloton – either way, the pace today was relentless! From the first rise in elevation the lead riders, 15-strong, began a hellish pace that would blow the field apart. The early instigator, Gomez was driven to frenzy with dreams of Rust dancing in his head. This lasted for about seven miles – of course, with nearly 90 left to go it might not have been the right strategy for the day. 



Meanwhile, the real heavy lifting from El Jefe, Bobbo, Chris and today’s guest rider Len was well underway. Throughout this, the Yellow Jersey staunchly refused his turns at the front. When forced into it through physical shoves and jabs, he would soft-pedal, shedding the pace and causing almost immediate overtaking by the group. Finally, after more than 20-miles of pain and suffering, El Jefe turned to our Yellow Jersey – the conversation going something like this,



“Tim, we’re dying here, can’t you lend us a hand into these winds?”

Staring him coldly in the eye, he calmly replied, “The Yellow Jersey Doesn’t Pull”

Shamed into the realization that they were mere minions, El Jefe was left speechless for maybe the first time in his life. To my thinking, being able to stun Andrew like this was even more impressive then Tim’s ability to accelerate away on the steepest of climbs.

As for our earlier instigator, Gomez, the ride turned truly ugly, his efforts having burnt out any matches still within his quiver. Scott and Wendi rolled up on him outside some wayward country store - shattered and forlorn. His faithful lieutenant Rich at his side; the two of them stuffing Klondike bars in a last-ditch effort to recover. 



We’re down to our final day; this one will take us back to SLO. We’ll finish out the week with the wrap-up party, so stay tuned on Friday for the final wrap-up and awarding of the jerseys and team trophy.

352 miles completed
21,900 feet of climbing

No change in the Yellow and White, with Tim and Chris looking extremely strong. 

The Red and Green have also shown selection, with the Red now cleanly down to only two.

KOM
Tim – 16
Max – 15
Chris – 9
Jeff - 6

For the Green, it looks tough to unseat El Jefe for his 4th ToP win – but the final stage includes the highest number of sprint points for the week and some concentration and snappy legs can still rule the day.

Sprints
Andrew – 26
Gomez - 12
Bobbo - 10
Rich and Haggis tied with – 6