ToP Day 3 – Duty, Honor, Country is No Match for the Free-Wheeling Course Ethics of El Jefe

Stage Three, the Queen Stage.  The mid-point of every Grand Tour is known affectionately as the Queen Stage, it marks the half-way point, it takes the riders over the hump, and it is more-often than not the hardest stage of the ride.  Today met all the criteria with two massive climbs, more of the wind, some great sprints, and just a touch of controversy.

At only 78-miles, the route took us from San Luis Obispo to Paso Robles, for our first hotel change.  While Paso is only 30-miles by direct route, Carter managed to find the most challenge available to make up for the lesser distance of our previous days.

As always, we began with the rider meeting and the presentation of the now infamous Sparkle Skirt.  Often, these decisions are quite difficult, but today’s was simple – after the initial draft route was sent out to the riders in early March, we received a quick reply.  This from a first-year rider, so one can excuse the naiveté that would compel this action.  The e-mail pleaded, implored and cut right to the essence of our very manhood with a near demand that without yesterday’s See Canyon inclusion the 2013 ToP would be doomed to failure.  Carter, being the push-over to idle threats that he is capitulated, adding the Bastard Climb and crushing the peloton – some may never truly recover.  So Day-Two’s Sparkle Skirt belongs to none other than our current Yellow Jersey, Tim Page (who we will NEVER ask for route advice again).

Today marked another ToP tradition, the recognition and celebration of Birthday Boy Matty-Matt, who seems to milk this auspicious occasion in greater and grander fashion every year. For this year, along with a rousing 

sing-along and his honored lead-out of the grand depart, Matty-Matt decided that to usher in his 45^th year, he should leave a bit of himself in Templeton, just a few short miles from the day’s finish. 

Seems he was innocently riding along when he was joined both by the Yellow and Red Jersey, Tim and Max.  At this point, our dynamic duo were so far ahead that they decided to call it a day and roll in with Matt, a true showing of solidarity among teammates.  Of course this is where it all went south.  First there was a question of just how far to the finish, this was followed by an off-hand reach into a jersey pocket for the route card – just as the front wheel hit a large rock and the site of Matty-Matt doing his best impression of “stop-drop and roll” across the asphalt.  This resulted in large areas of body now covered in road rash, the demise of one Galaxy II by Samsung, and some now noticeable blemishes to his brand new bike – I’ll let you take a guess which of these carry the greatest degree of pain and suffering!

All this occurred long after the roll-out controversy, where one side heard Matt leads out and the other heard everyone hold up while our White Jersey leader changes a torn tire.  This difference in viewpoint is akin to that great American feud between the Hatfield’s and McCoy’s.  Never in the history of the ToP have we seen such violence of words!

This all came to a head on the second climb of the day.  With the early departures scoring their climbing points of the ride on the first climb, they were feeling confident that they were now in the driver’s seat. 

To get in the driver’s seat, it required a hard drive of 20-23 MPH average to the climb, dropping the very birthday boy they rolled out before the main group to support.

Regardless, the die was cast, the chickens had flown the coop, and the tempest in the teapot was underway. For it was the second climb up Santa Rosa Canyon, the significantly difficult of the two that saw this come to a head.

It began with El Jefe, who was leading out Chris into Cambria, the last town before the climb.  The route intended a short roll into town with a turn at the third street and onto the climb.  This was the route that our early leaders of Gomez and Jeff T had taken.  El Jefe, who believes that a direct line is often the better choice turned instead at the first turn –thus shortening the lead in run by as much as a mile (or so), with 13-miles of hard climbing, most would feel this was statistically insignificant – and in El Jefe’s view, well within the spirit of the ToP. 

Also in keeping with the El Jefe rule of riding, since there were no more sprint points left to contest, he only had to make it up and over the climb to complete the day – which meant this was a perfect time to stop, have a coffee and a couple pastries while trying to coax others into his ways.

Chris, fresh off the Plain at West Point and already on the climb, had slowed to a near walking pace because he was concerned that he’d made an error – Gomez and Jeff, spotting their prey attempted to surge by – indignant that their early, and some say sneaky departure was threatened.  Allegedly, heated words were spoken – Chris obviously having cheated, otherwise how else could he have gotten ahead.  Chris, the weight of the Long Gray Line heavy upon his shoulders, answered their accusations with judicious use of the LA “LOOK” – glancing back, a steely-eyed stare, followed by a blistering acceleration that left them shaken and dejected. 

Another one in the books – only two days left for the final selection of our jersey winners.  Stay tuned, this is heating up! 

251 miles completed

16,200 feet of climbing

Yellow still firmly on the shoulders of Tim, while Chris has held onto the White for another day.

The Red and Green saw some shaking with some new names on the board.

KOM:

Tim – 12

Max – 7

Jeff - 6

Chris - 4

Sprints

Andrew - 14

Gomez - 12

Rich and Haggis tied with - 6