Please take a few minutes to acquaint yourself with our largest ride member, my oldest friend, a traveling companion many times over, and even the best man at my wedding...Brian Hughes (known throughout the Western World simply as Axe).
A true sportsman, hailing many generations removed from Ukraine, but currently calling Sacramento home, he will be our Northern California representative, and undoubtedly will use their harsh winter as an excuse for his total lack of fitness. Brian is loyal to a fault, willing to take one for the team, having even volunteered to bring up the rear each day of our journey, and promising to sweep the road of the broken souls on The Train of Pain. Affectionately referred to as the Sling Blade of Bike Mechanics, Axe will ensure that repairs are covered. Best of all - he works for beer.
Brian is a former national-caliber lightweight rower, bike racer, and has even dabbled in triathlons. All which I mention simply to point out that, despite his present corpulent form, a fine athlete once existed in that body. Please don’t let him convince you that he has hit rock bottom in letting himself go to the dogs; I can assure you he has further still to slide. Case in point: He claims to have once ridden his bicycle, self-contained and solo, across the USA. However, upon his return, a great many chocolate-speckeled Greyhound Bus tickets were found in his pack; leaving his entire story suspect, and his waist line expanded. He may in fact prove to be the only one of us to actually gain weight on our impending ride.
As a past triathlete he specialized in the Ironman distance. As a matter of fact, he has competed in exactly 3 events – ALL of which were Ironman Triathlons. Once even came close to beating a nun…it’s a long tale, so perhaps he’ll regale us all during our Queen stage (Day 3). That is, if you don’t mind stopping for several hours at the first pub we pass on the days route. Axe is a firm believer in proper hydration.
All roasting aside; a better friend does not exist. To wit, I provide the following as an example.
Roughly 20 years ago I was involved in a car accident while in Canada in which my vehicle was totaled. Luckily nobody was hurt, and I flew home later that same day. But alas, I now had no automobile. Even though it was not my fault, because the accident took place outside the USA, it took over 4 months for the financial restitution, leaving me the entire time car-less. Enter the AxeMan. For this entire period, Brian got up EVERY morning at 5:15am and drove my ungrateful ass to work, cursing me the whole way each and every day, and swearing that this was the last time. And yet, there he would be the following morning, under-caffeinated and swearing like a sailor...and for the next 20 years taking every opportunity to remind me of his deed.
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